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Initially, this was supposed to be a running category post about some recently performed varicose vein surgeries I’ve had and how I can’t run for the next few weeks. As I started writing, I felt like the bigger story is how I’ve learned how to become my own advocate.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. The information provided in this post is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you are experiencing any health concerns or require medical treatment, please consult with a qualified healthcare provider or doctor. Always seek professional medical advice before making decisions related to your health.
Key Topics in this Post
Why I Have Been Advocating for Myself
For the past year, I’ve been going through the process of correcting issues with varicose veins. It took me years to get the courage to get a consultation. I always thought my issues were cosmetic and wouldn’t be covered by insurance.
While they were really unsightly, they didn’t physically bother me. I had doctors ask if they hurt and honestly, as a marathon runner, my legs are often sore. After I started experiencing restless legs more frequently, I decided it was worth it to know my options.
Advocate for Yourself at the Doctor
I requested a consultation with a vein surgeon last December. The first appointment was two hours and incredibly easy. I had no idea what the treatment involved. I left relieved I had “textbook” varicose veins and I had to wear compression leggings for the next six weeks.
The process has been slow. While the journey hasn’t been linear, it has taught me a lot about how to speak up for myself. Over the last year, my insurance granted pre-approvals for procedures, revoked those pre-approvals, denied my appeals and eventually approved my case. More than anything, it’s given me resilience to ensure that I don’t take no for an answer if it doesn’t sit right with my gut. It’s also given me a path for learning more about advocating for myself.
What Self-Advocacy Means
Self-advocacy means speaking up for yourself, your needs, and your rights while taking responsibility for your decisions and well-being. It involves understanding what’s important to you while effectively communicating it to others. Self-advocacy empowers you to make choices, seek support, and create opportunities that align with your values. It’s about asserting yourself with confidence and respect, recognizing your own worth, and taking an active role in shaping your own life.
Why Advocacy is Important
Self-advocacy is so important because it ensures that your needs and rights are respected. It helps establish boundaries and take an active role in creating the best possible scenario. It sounds cliché, but you’re the only one who can truly speak up for your needs.
For me, self-advocacy has helped improve my confidence, understand my worth, and realize what is truly vital. I wasn’t always the best at speaking up for myself. It has taken a lot of practice and I’m getting better at it. I still have a lot to learn and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made.
By tuning into these signals, you’re honoring your inner voice, fostering self-trust, and ensuring you prioritize your well-being in uncertain situations.
Related Post: Here is everything I learned in my first year of blogging!
Tips for Advocating for Yourself
While I have been learning my way through insurance and medical cases this year, there are other areas of your life for using these tools. Whether it’s asking for support at work or sharing what you need in a friendship, here are some tips for how to be your own advocate.
Why “Gut Checks” are Important
If your gut tells you something isn’t quite right, you should wholeheartedly listen to that. A “gut check” is your body’s way of saying something isn’t quite right. It’s an incredible way to understand powerful clues and know what you need to be successful. When something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to pause, reflect, and trust those feelings instead of brushing them aside. Let the feeling guide you and as part of the process, it’s a way to learn to trust yourself. Ignoring your intuition is a way of denying your truth.
Know Your Value
Whether you believe it or not, you are important. Take inventory of what you bring to the table when it comes to speaking up for yourself.
Knowing your value is the foundation of how to be your own advocate, as it empowers you to confidently articulate your worth and stand firm in your needs. It’s your “why” you bring to the table. Start by considering moments when you’ve made a difference, solved a problem, or exceeded expectations, and remind yourself of these wins regularly.
Know What You Bring to the Table
Understanding your value helps you approach situations with confidence, whether negotiating a raise, setting boundaries, or expressing your opinions. When you know what you bring to the table, you can advocate for yourself with clarity and self-assurance, inspiring others to recognize and respect your worth.
Related Post: How I am supporting Girls on the Run Chicago and running the Chicago 13.1 to give young girls a chance to get these lessons and learn to run!
Prepare for Having Tough Conversations
The biggest gap between you and your goals is your ability to have difficult conversations. While they can be uncomfortable, the best personal growth is how well you’re able to endure the discomfort.
How to Prepare for the Discussion
Start by clarifying your goal, understanding what you want to achieve and why the conversation is necessary. Prepare by gathering your thoughts, practicing what you want to say, and anticipating potential reactions.
Approach the discussion with a calm and open mindset, choosing a time and place that ensures privacy and minimizes distractions. Actively listen to the other person’s perspective, showing empathy and patience, even if you disagree.
How to Collaborate for Solutions
Aim to collaborate on solutions rather than assign blame, keeping the focus on moving forward. Finally, end with clarity—summarize what was discussed and agree on next steps to ensure everyone is on the same page. Tough conversations can strengthen relationships when handled with respect and a willingness to understand.
How to Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Begin by identifying areas where you feel overwhelmed, disrespected, or drained, and define what you need to feel balanced and secure. Communicate your boundaries clearly, saying something like, “I’m not available until 6 PM,” or “I need uninterrupted time to focus on completing this project.”
Be consistent by enforcing your boundaries to help show how important they are to you. You’ll likely feel uncomfortable or guilty at first. Remember that healthy boundaries are not about pushing people away. Boundaries are about creating space for mutual respect. If someone challenges your limits, remain firm while calmly reiterating your stance. Setting boundaries will take practice, but over time, it fosters healthier relationships with other people and yourself.
Use “I” Statements for Confidence
Instead of speaking of your experience in a passive tone, use I statements to take ownership of what you need. I’ve always found the process of speaking up for what I need to be incredibly powerful when I talk about my feelings from my own point of view. Your feelings or concerns will sound powerful when they come from the heart rather than passive general “you” statements.
How to Leverage Your Support System
Leveraging support systems is a powerful way to build confidence and resilience when advocating for yourself. Start by identifying people you trust, such as friends, family, mentors, or colleagues, who can provide guidance, encouragement, and honest feedback. Share your goals or challenges with them and don’t be afraid to ask for specific help. Examples are things like brainstorming solutions, practicing difficult conversations, or simply offering a listening ear.
Professional support, like therapy or coaching, can also provide valuable tools and strategies tailored to your needs. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network creates a safety net, reminding you that you don’t have to navigate tough situations alone. Your support system can offer fresh perspectives, keep you grounded, and empower you to approach self-advocacy with greater confidence and clarity.
Understand How to Be Assertive, Not Aggressive
This one sounds logical, but takes a little practice. When I first started speaking up for myself, I felt powerful because I was not comfortable speaking up at all. While I was speaking up, I was bulldozing my way through those conversations. I think I was so scared to say the words I wasn’t able to listen or engage in the whole conversation. Over time, I’ve gotten better about sharing what I need and also asking for feedback or hearing the other side. It took practice to add empathy to the tone. The more I forced myself into these conversations, the more I found it got easier.
Celebrate Your Self-Advocacy Wins
Celebrate all the moments along the way, not just the end goal. Did you have a conversation that scared you? Honor that! Did you hold a boundary you might have let go before? That’s incredible! The more you celebrate the process, the easier it will get.
Do you have other tips for how to be your own advocate? Leave a note in the comments with your tips!
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